spring fever baby!

SPRING IS HERE!! thank goodness, i thought it was never going to be here. one more day of school till a marvelous week off. laying in the warm sun, digging ur toes in the cool sand and hanging with friends. and of course practicing! haha need to improve. i need motivation though. i havent had any will to practice i mean no auditions coming up a concert in at least a month i mean there really no deadline to practice. for us musicians (if i am worthy to call myself that) should probably pratice daily to keep in shape with our breathing and other abilities. i really need to improve on fundamentals such as thirds appegioes minors different rythems. im working on a piece titled mozart's clarinet concerto. its a VERY famous piece for clarinet and EVERYBODY has their own personal opinion for it. which can be a good and bad thing if i dont perform it up to par. but within the concerto there is multiple thirds and appegioes. DING! this is why instructors force down on basic boring stuff like that in order to be successful in master works. haha boy i wish i practiced those. so anyway my goal is to practice at least an hour and a half everyday over spring break. some of you may think whoa thats a long time but the thing is, when i play music, i just get lost into it and everything around me is gone. its just me and my clarinet. this may be corny and lame but i like to practice pretending im in Lincoln Center or something like that playing for hundreds of people. well wish me luck. and have a great spring break
love
me

a conversation never to happen

we need to talk.
about what?
us.
what about us?
everything.
ok.
this conversation has never happen, i dont think it ever will. you always say we need to talk about us. well what about us? you wont tell me anything. yes we dated we broke up we still talk. well my question, r we just friends? o i sure hope not. it cant be just friends. i tell you everything. u tell me everything. u called me last night bc u were upset and need someone to go to. that cant be just friends. it has to be more, it must be more. sure we are far apart a whole miserable four hours apart. miles and miles away from ur gorgeous face and amazing personality. your hugs o your fabulous hugs if only our arms could reach those many miles would i feel complete. texting you just doesnt do it. its not enough. the occassional phone call puts butterfiles in my stomach when you say hello. just the sound of your voice, its enough. if only we could have our talk we both desire to have would i be able to tell you how i feel. ive never felt like this before a feeling that comes deep deep from inside a wonderful indescriable feeling i get when i see and hear you. a feeling ive never felt with anyone else. is it love? i have no idea. i cant tell you that bc what would you say. what if you didnt love me back? if you love someone else? to feel like all hope is gone and theres never going to b a chance for me. it could be all over if i tell you how i feel. the friendship.. gone. completely gone. never to speak. to never see or hear you ever again. i cant lose that, it seems better to just keep it to myself so that the friendship wont have to end. it cant end. i need you. your wisdom your influences, its made me what i am. if not for you, i probably would have never decided to follow my dream. a dream that everyone else believes i cant achieve. only you think i can. u believe in me. and telling you my feelings well, ill lose your support. ill lose it all, gone, washed out to sea and never to return. so ill just keep my feelings to myself and hope and wish and dream that one day you will realize and see me. see me as yours.

Carolina Sandy Beaches

regisistered as carolina sandy beaches, i remember the day we brought you home. i was five years old riding shot gun with my daddy. we pulled up to an apartment and stepped inside. you were on top the bed barking. we took you home and you laid in my lap all the way. you were john's surprise, he always wanted a puppy. you were everything a family could want from a dog. your engerjected personality always licking people up in their face. i have many memories of you. the time you fell off the dock and dad had to pull you back up. the day you cut your paw on an oyster while playing frisbee. i came home from school one day to see a massive hole in the front door. were you hungry? haha. i was roller blading in the yard and you bit me in the butt. ouch. i still love you though. always have and always will. but u got old. artheritis came and hit never got easier. you lost weight. you couldnt stand and use stairs so daddy took you to the vet. you couldnt make it inside so he carried you in his arms like when you were a puppy. the vet said you had a tumor in your stomach and he knew what was best. the tears were hot on my cheeks while you laid your head down to sleep, a sleep from which you will never wake. no the house seems empty. like we left something behind. i dont have to walk around you anymore and it hurts. ur thump thump tail doesnt beat anymore. but you will always be remembered in our hearts and in our memories. Sandy, you were without a doubt the best dog anyone could ever have. a marvelous 11 1/2 years. i love you.

no wishes or luck

we grow up believing anything is possible. that whatever we want will come as long as we wish and work hard. yes i believe that hard work will get people far in life, but not where they nessiarcly want to go. i have recently learned that wishes dont come true. they shouldnt even exist. all they seem to do is set people up for dissappiontment. dreams crushed. leaving you feeling hopeless, unloved, hurt, whatever it makes you feel. another thing is luck. luck doesnt exist either. no one gets by off of luck if you do well your life must be pretty swell. life takes legit hard work and sometimes its just sucks, but hey thats life.

Zomba

Zomba- a latin dance class i took tonite. i went to a fitness center with some friends to dance zomba. it was fabulous! haha i really enjoyed it. the class moved quickly with fast dance steps to the spanish music. the music was pretty modern with modern dance steps. it really works your arms and abs. so the five of us tested out our hot moves to the dance floor and we were.......... "successful". sure we got all the steps but we looked ridiculous! haha watching ourselves in the mirror walls was very enjoyable. i will most certainly go back to the zomba class. the teacher was crazy saying "let me see you shake it chickas!" shimmies, body poppin, and other crazy dance moves. i suggest everyone try something new, similar to zomba haha u will have a great time.
c ya!

welcome to my blog

hi there. well this here is my very first blog. woot. a place where the whole world can know what's on my mind. i never been a huge blog fan because why would you want people knowing everything about you? then i realized who cares theyre your thoughts why be ashamed of them? so i decided to make a blog because i finished my paper and got bored. anyways i guess i should introduce myself.
well im a sixteen year old girl just trying to make it through high school. the grades, SAT, college, o and of course boys! haha what girl doesnt have boy issues? so i really enjoy music i play the clarinet and like to doodle on the piano. i cant play piano but i have a great jealousy to those who do. i really like to fish with my dad, yeah hanging out with parents is werid but i like my dad. hes fun. i love my friends they are all great although sometimes they become a great annoance, but that happens to everyone.
um i dont exactly know what all to write because this would be a really flippin long blog if i told you everything but hey i guess the more i write on here the more you'll know.
so as you can tell i dont use upper case and proper grammer. yeah im cool. ha my break from proper english. so i must go to bed and indure school's stupidy but tomorrow is an early release so thats a relief.
until next time.
me