a conversation never to happen

we need to talk.
about what?
us.
what about us?
everything.
ok.
this conversation has never happen, i dont think it ever will. you always say we need to talk about us. well what about us? you wont tell me anything. yes we dated we broke up we still talk. well my question, r we just friends? o i sure hope not. it cant be just friends. i tell you everything. u tell me everything. u called me last night bc u were upset and need someone to go to. that cant be just friends. it has to be more, it must be more. sure we are far apart a whole miserable four hours apart. miles and miles away from ur gorgeous face and amazing personality. your hugs o your fabulous hugs if only our arms could reach those many miles would i feel complete. texting you just doesnt do it. its not enough. the occassional phone call puts butterfiles in my stomach when you say hello. just the sound of your voice, its enough. if only we could have our talk we both desire to have would i be able to tell you how i feel. ive never felt like this before a feeling that comes deep deep from inside a wonderful indescriable feeling i get when i see and hear you. a feeling ive never felt with anyone else. is it love? i have no idea. i cant tell you that bc what would you say. what if you didnt love me back? if you love someone else? to feel like all hope is gone and theres never going to b a chance for me. it could be all over if i tell you how i feel. the friendship.. gone. completely gone. never to speak. to never see or hear you ever again. i cant lose that, it seems better to just keep it to myself so that the friendship wont have to end. it cant end. i need you. your wisdom your influences, its made me what i am. if not for you, i probably would have never decided to follow my dream. a dream that everyone else believes i cant achieve. only you think i can. u believe in me. and telling you my feelings well, ill lose your support. ill lose it all, gone, washed out to sea and never to return. so ill just keep my feelings to myself and hope and wish and dream that one day you will realize and see me. see me as yours.